Both of my daughters are at that age when they start dating. It seems that good old mother nature has somehow triggered their brains to notice the opposite sex. Instead, they should expect a guy in a dented Mustang and a night at Applebees. If, by some chance, the balloon ride happens more power to you, but be realistic. No matter what we do, our little girls are going to be heading out our front door into a car with a boy. I was a young boy, and I know what young boys are thinking! What you will see here are ground rules for dating my daughters.

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You may glare at her adoringly, so long as you do not peer at anything below the neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter I will remove them. If you show up at my home with your pants falling down I will be forced to ensure that they do not come off during the course of your date with my daughter by taking my electric staple gun and fastening the pants directly to your waist.

Let me elaborate: I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Do not do this.

One day my daughter will begin to date. The way it looks now, she will likely date boys (although if it’s girls, her father and I are fine with that too). I.

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